Why Is Having Kids Without Marriage Only Acceptable for Celebrities?

If love is strong enough to build a family, why isn’t it strong enough to build a marriage?

Why has having children out of wedlock become the norm?

I have one simple question. If you’re in love enough to keep making babies, why are you not in love enough to get married?

This is a legitimate question that most people tend to avoid.

I’m sure you’ve noticed how people would rather have a house full of kids which is a life long commitment and a never ending soul tie, than to be married which is something they can end.

Make it make sense.

Think about this. We give celebrities like Rihanna a pass but constantly criticize single mothers. Isn’t she a single mother?

I digress.

Maybe I see things differently because I was raised in a time when it was an embarrassment to be a single mother. Men were expected to marry a woman he got in the “family way.” Nowadays, it’s common to see unmarried couples with children.

I’m not judging at all. In fact I am a single mother myself but I was young, uninformed and had absolutely no idea that I was selling myself short. I love my children but I was in no way prepared for the trials and tribulations I would face by procreating with the wrong man. Which is why I am writing this article.

Simply put, women do themselves a disservice by having children out of wedlock. This makes it easier for men to slack and also explains why most men don’t deem marriage as necessary.

I don’t care if you agree with me or not. I am sick of baby mamas and baby daddies in the Black community. I’d rather see successful marriages and whole family dynamics instead.

I was watching the clip below and suddenly felt second hand embarrassment. There are tons of women saying how happy they would be to receive this type of treatment. It shows just how much Black women under value themselves.

I have never seen such bare minimum efforts applauded as almost heroic. It must be the easiest it’s ever been to be a man.

It’s time to face the truth. If you’re not marrying your baby mama or baby father, it’s because they are not the one or you simply don’t trust them. All the excuses in the world won’t change that fact.

Yes, I know it’s a different time and people live how they want to live, but it’s this way of thinking that is destroying the Black community.

Clearly, this is a big problem.

Men can not birth children. It’s women that are impregnated, lose their shape, risk femicide and their lives to bring children into this world. A man’s part is pleasurable. So of course many men are detached and not invested after the deed is done.

I know someone is going to shout, “Not all men.” Save it. No man will ever know what it’s like to be a woman and go through what women go through so they will never understand…because they can’t.

In fact many fathers have never witnessed the birth of their own children.

I had this conversation with a married Hispanic man that watched the birth of all 4 of his daughters. He admitted that he cried and it changed how he saw women and increased the respect he has for women.

According to law and family attorney Kelsey Eisen, “There are usually underlying fears at play. A marriage can be intimidating because it is, in all its unromantic glory, a til-death-do-you-part legal contract. Tying your finances and assets to another person can cause a lot of anxiety.”

Having children with someone doesn’t?

This is why I am adamant on preaching to Black women. Stop making babies with men that won’t or can’t commit to taking care of their responsibilities.

It all comes down to a fear of long term commitment. Whether it’s on the side of the woman, man or both parties this is the truth behind why so many couples are having children out of wedlock. For once let’s be honest.

We can’t keep on blaming men especially when legally they can’t even have sex without a woman’s permission. So who does the responsibility ultimately fall on?

Reader, what do you think?

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